First post of 2018… why is that so daunting? This year my word of the year is “simplify” but I’ve also been conscious of the need to keep things real here in blog land. I know I don’t get too deep into many topics (I mainly post recipes and programs I’m amped about) but I’ve also shared a little about this third pregnancy and the journey of the last 9ish months.
I want to preface this post by saying we are so insanely blessed and excited for this third baby and I know what a privilege it is to be able to carry a child and give birth. It truly is an amazing thing that your body does!
However, this third pregnancy has been hard. With my first two (hubs even commented back then something along the lines of, “I was totally expecting you to be a cranky, moody mess when you were preggo but you’re not!”) I loved being pregnant – I loved everything about it! The stages, all the new feelings, watching my body grow and change to accommodate this new life… The 6 months of puking with each one? Yea not my fav but hey, it was only in the mornings!
This third time? It’s been completely different. Emotionally I’ve been on a roller coaster for 8+ months. And you know what’s the pits? When you know you’re grumpy or sad for no reason but can’t seem to snap out of it. Or feeling like you’re kids are going to drive you cray-cray all the while knowing they aren’t doing anything unusual or anything that would set you off on a “normal” day.
Physically I was incredibly sick this time (if I thought the first two were bad, HAH!) nothing I did or took seemed to help but thankfully it only lasted just over the first 3 months. #awinandilltakeit Secondly in the physical department, I was not prepared to get discouraged over my changing body. I’ve never been overly concerned with my weight gain during pregnancy, I gained over 50lbs both the first and second time but I’ve never really dwelt on the numbers on the scale. And I still don’t with this one; I actually couldn’t tell you what I weigh at this moment (oops). But even though I am taking care of my body better this time around than I ever have in my life – I felt a little betrayed by it. I’ve got awesome cellulite starting alll over my butt and legs, I retain a lot of fluid that makes me feel puffy and awkward, and I’ve got a patch of what they are calling varicose veins on my leg that look more like a giant bruise. Literally there are no “veins” it’s one large (and growing) patch that goes from red to purple to blue to nearly black depending what I’ve been doing. So awesome right!?
Is all of this pretty superficial? Yup! Will all of this go away starting in roughly 5 weeks? Yup! (Well hopefully 😉 ) Still, when I was so excited for this pregnancy and to be able to take even better care of myself because I was better equipped with nutritional knowledge and a whole arsenal of preggo friendly workouts at my finger tips – it was a big letdown to feel soo incredibly crummy. I cannot even IMAGINE what I would have been like had I NOT had the nutritional and exercise resources that I do!
If you’re a first time mama reading this, DO NOT get discouraged (it doesn’t get bad until the third… HA KIDDING) everyone’s experience is so different and unique. You may never experience the same things I did. And guess what? That’s perfectly ok and also the beauty in this experience. We all
struggle sail through it differently.
The message I did want to leave you with is this, it’s all ok. It’s ok to feel crummy. It’s ok to not enjoy this period of your life. It’s ok if it feels hard. You’re growing a human! It’s hard, freaking work! Each stage will pass and at the end you get to welcome a brand new life into the world. THAT part I CANNOT wait for.
I can’t wait to watch the Husband holding a tiny little being that we created together.
I can’t wait to watch my two littles become big brothers.
I can’t wait to snuggle and soak up all the new moments.
That stage will come with its own set of trials I know (hello three babies in 3 years) but I’m excited for it. The new challenge, the new dynamics, figuring out life as a family of5 #holycrap, all of it.
Even though I haven’t enjoyed this pregnancy the way I hoped I would, we love this baby already and can’t wait to experience everything he or she adds to our lives.